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The Day I Killed the Town

This is another one of my memories while under good drugs in the hospital, most of it never happened but it is how I remember it happening.


I was brought for the morning after cleanup to this glass office building that was being used to house patients. As the day went on the nurse was having trouble moving me for cleaning and the brought in a lift thing to try that didn’t work out. However, as I was on the lift and couldn’t move it had me down near the floor and beside the desk. Then this snake came out from the desk and this guy used a spinning rope on a stick thing to kill it but there were dozens more everywhere.

The decided that I needed to get back to the main hospital so I was moved through the Indian spice store next door and they used a hose to dry and get the snake infestation out but it got too much and I got pulled under into the drain with some other dead bodies that were grossing me out. I managed to be pulled out and placed on another stretcher. This left us in a parking lot outside the mall. In the parking lot, they were shooting a running scene and as I was laying on the bed they were running as this Indian boy sewed and reupholstered a hospital bed. Then we just kept running and running like a stop-action scene that went on forever and ever.
While this happens my mother and step-father showed up and were discussing with the program director as special surgery to fix something. The hospital was down with it, as a special exception.

Eventually, it came to a point I couldn’t take it anymore but couldn’t stop to get out. Unless I gave in nothing was happening, if I opened my eyes it would resume. If I closed them it would reset. Then I started to float up in the air, and drop into the cold wet muddy ditch and be flowed down the river. My thoughts were to do nothing and wait for a nurse to come and get me as they did about twice a day.

Then the nurse came and she couldn’t get me. I just floated there. Then I started to float around this castle-like amusement park. Except all the people were socializing beer bottle men, with different New Brunswick town labels, and the women were cocktails with long legs. There seemed to be no escaping. I even tried breaking beer bottles on them to get them to throw me out and it didn’t work.

I kept hearing the hospital announcements and then found out that this castle was part of the Brampton hospital and the “Code” announcements could be heard there. I kept trying to escape and every now and then a nurse came and tried to get me to go back but not succeeding. I was getting cold and wet and tired and just wanted to leave.

Eventually one does, and I start to follow her to get out. I thought my tracheotomy device had broken and parts went into my stomach. As we were almost out. I thought going on a ride thing to see the exhibit was a good idea because I was getting tired of walking. It was an exhibit of histories of washrooms and racists. (Probably related to CNN news coverage on the TV)

After through the exhibit I couldn’t stand up. The GBS like things were happening in the legs. The seat on a string just kept moving and was headed to a woman’s section and no one would let my chair go there, and then they wanted me to buy a ticket and I had no way to and the chair kept doing repetitions.

The people rearranged the track and directed the seat to security for my bad behaviour as I pissed them off. As I was moving along the track I was getting worried that I was going to die as I was spitting up batteries from the implanted breathing machine. (I never had one of those in reality) Then this nurse guy comes to take care of me to try and get me off this chair. 

The end of the line is this bed rest area machine, that I have to win a game to proceed and I had no time for this and was getting frustrated and starting to blackout. It then released me into another room and it was filled with people playing bingo and eating a fried chicken buffet. I was trying still to get out of the chair.

The Bingo amusement started to rise up and the people eating in that section were crushed to death and there was blood everywhere, they then tried cutting the ropes and it went back down, and then it went up again and everyone in the room was sliced to death with stings. I was then being dragged across the town as the Black Lives Matters and hippy protesters were trying to mob me. I had no way of doing anything. The guy nurse was trying to prep me for the surgery and was hired by my mother.

After slaughtering the majority of the town I almost die and get trapped against a fence by this old house. The whole remaining town wants me dead and starts a lynch mob. I sneak into the house and it turns out to be a very old protester fraternity with all these escape tunnels. The place is like a church so I decide to pray there, and rob their sacred symbols.

I then end up turning myself into a police officer, who then grabs me and we start running down the trail. The sound of the breathing machine I swallowed is making a repeating noise that sounds like their chant, so it starts the protestors in sync which makes my police officer more able to duck and shoot them in self-defence. When clear we keep running and running through the streets and run through a dinner where the cop gets a sandwich and I throw garbage on the floor that just further gets the town people more upset at me.

There is a cop car next to us progestin the run and propaganda on the buildings. I lose the cop when a car is set on fire, I climb onto a rail and try to jump and kill myself, I felt so bad even though I had no control of the situation. Unfortunately, there was a young girl’s graduation recital and they were upset they didn’t want the girls to see what I was going to do.

I then heard my mother and step-father in the car upset that it had come to this my mother was in tears. I then started to run along the power lines following them as they were on the phone with a relative local to the area. I really wanted nothing else but to see them one last time and tell her I loved her. That and grape pop, I really wanted grape pop. 

As I kept running, another guy my age started running with me and filming it, he also gave me a wi-fi phone since I lost my phone at the hospital. Mostly so we could communicate. Every time I stopped running the mob would find me. I just couldn’t stop to talk to my mother.

I then came across this grocery store that was having a party and was using my pictures and logo without my permission, and they had grape pop. So I trashed the place and pooped and slid on a sloped wall of ice cream. The called the police and the police came to get me and I started running again.

Until I found the convenience store that was identical to the first. So I trashed it again. This went on for a few times. I then learned that the guy that gave me the phone was working for the store and was a robot from the waist down. He and his friends were machines that worked to run the store efficiently and that all the items were perfectly and efficiently merchandised for profit. There was an alarm that sounded every time an inefficiency occurred. I rested there I was so tired but the owner wanted me gone, but for some reason, I stayed.

He sleeps next to me and I was so confused, and started questioning if this was really real and wanted out but couldn’t. I tried kissing him to piss him off but he shook his head that that wasn’t the solution.

The next morning I went to try to buy a Bell SIM card and a real phone but had no money. I then convinced the system to give me what I want and use a glitch to get unlimited credit. Then the mall we were in was attacked and so headed to the Sears that was made of paper and had paper people that set up the store for the holidays and was more elite than a real store. They then robbed the nurse that happened to be with me and wanted me to turn myself in. I refused and they started a demonstration inside. Looking out from the window, all you could see was smoke clouds from the city on fire. 

I managed to hide by there was a TV crew taping a show. Then I blacked out. When I woke up we were at the lake house and they were taping an antique roadshow. I couldn’t help myself and be bored so I started breaking things then trying not to break things. After the event, we went outside as others had wine and I tried to go swimming but there was ice on the water and couldn’t. Then the protesters started beating on the door for a long time than faster and faster for a long time. (This was a vibrator in the bed)

I was avoiding them so I hid in the woods and got lost, I found an amusement park. I tried to get A&W or McDonalds but couldn’t since I had no money, and barely any clothes. The 4 doctors that hung out together was at the McDonald’s and were plotting to make this sex documentary for CBC that followed these sex workers in New York that would be beaten for telling their story. Having never experienced that and wanting to make TV, I agreed.

We then went to NYC and I waited in the hot car forever. Trying hard to not blackout until my scene. It ends up getting cut and not happening. I then end up driving back with the crew and there are protests and fires along the highway, so we never get to stop for lunch and I am really thirsty and want water badly. I then wake back in Brampton at the store until the nurse comes to move me.

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Arrivederci Roma, and The Life That Was

This post also has a soundtrack. The André Rieu version of Arrivederci Roma.

It is September 24th, as we left for the sightseeing of Rome. I was a bit worried to go out on the street. There was a long protest going down the street for the freedom and recognition of a people in a region near Georgia. (The country) The parade ended just before go time and my feet were really sore. My last pairs of socks had holes in them and combined with the bleeding heels walking was getting harder. Rome is also not known for the flattest and smoothest sidewalks/streets either.


We hopped on the bus and went to the area near the Italian government buildings. For there we walked around Rome to the Pantheon, the Trevi Fountain and various other buildings. We also ran into a group of protestors that were fighting for the right of deaf people to have interpreters at churches. They made a lot of noise.


Then we went for a fancy supper and my feet were killing me. At supper, I had noticed my feet were still hurting even when not standing on them, and my butt and hip were getting a sensation of falling asleep. I stood up and walked outside a few times to relieve the cramps and asleep feeling but it was getting worse. By the end of the night , my feet were going from sore to numb.


After dinner, we went back to the hostel for drinks as for a chunk of us it was the big goodbye night. The rest of the travellers would be heading to London again over the next week. The place was small and cramped but I didn’t want to miss out as this was the last big night with everyone so I stayed until about midnight. The group then decided to go to a club but I really wasn’t feeling it.


An amazing person that was also leaving in Rome decided not to go out and since I have feelings for her and we are in Rome, we went for a stroll around the block and I tried to hit on her nervously. She explained what was important to her, and I respected her and we continued to walk back to the hotel and called it a night.

The next morning I woke up and the scariest thing happened. My feet were still numb and three fingers on both hands were numb. This had me really scared and the hotel had terrible internet so I had breakfast and checked out of The Yellow Hostel. I knew my next hotel the check in was not until 2 pm but I wanted to drop off my heavy bag to baggage storage there, as I was planning to travel light for 3 days and had the necessities in my side bag.


To my luck the hotel lets me check in early and I started to Google what could be going wrong with me. The main hits were Diabetic Nerve Pain or MS. (In my head better than diabetic as I love good food.) The internet was bad so I decided to go out and went to Termini station to get online. From there I started iMessaging / Facebook messaging and emailing everyone I could back home to get advice.

Since it was just after 6 am back home only a few answered. None suggested coming back and several suggested it could be something even worse and that I should go to the hospital. My sister was one of the few that answered but wasn’t happy I woke her on a Sunday morning. I ate lunch at McDonald’s in the station then went to find Michelangelo’s Keyhole that I missed by a few metres in 2013. Once you miss doing something it really sticks with you.


As I climbed the hill and passed the rose garden, I crested the top of the hill and saw a long line of people. This is the universal sign of you found the attraction.

I waited about 45 minutes in line and then made it to the front and looked in the hole. It was cool but had bigger hype and expectations than I was hoping for. On the way back down there is a park with an overlooking view of the Vatican.

Considering how much my feet hurt, I had to rest. I started to question myself on what I should do. It was at that point that I thought I heard a voice say “Go Home” in the wind. As I was walking down the hill, I need to go to the bathroom suddenly and had little control and didn’t quite make it to the pay toilet, that also was dirty and had little paper left. It was not good and I was so conscious of my smell. I went back to the hostel to look at my insurance papers and get my numbers in line to go to Ospedale Santo Spirito near the Vatican. However , when reading my travel insurance papers, I read it in detail and noticed an Early Return clause and called them up via Skype and asked about it.

The lady explained that it would cover any economy class ticket on a reimbursement basis. I then was worried about trying to contact my travel agent on a Sunday and jumped on the Air Canada app and looked up flights. I didn’t want to miss the Coliseum tour I had booked later that day so flying out that night wasn’t on my radar. (That would have been the smartest option.)

The fastest and cheapest flight back the next morning was to fly Rome to Philadelphia to Toronto to Saint John. I almost booked it but then I noticed that if I went Rome to Munich to Toronto to Saint John I could leave Rome early rather than stupid early, I would avoid the US TSA, get a Munich passport stamp, and fly in a Dreamliner! (Since I wasn’t paying it what is an extra $40 for more sleep and a wish list airplane.) I booked the trip and coordinated with a friend to pick me up at the airport the next afternoon and bring me to the hospital. The internet then crapped out and I left for my tour.

As I went through Termini, my mother got back to me and I told her I was coming home. I then headed off to the tour. I had already done this tour in 2010 so it looked the same as before and I was not really into it. All I was thinking about was leaving the next day. I took a bunch of photos to prove I was there but I was so weak and sore that I was glad it was over. I said no more goodbyes and slipped away and back to the hostel. I ordered a chicken burger and fries at the hostel restaurant and thought my sore throat was coming back, but it turned out probably the muscles were going numb and I was losing my swallowing abilities. I then got my bag from storage and went to bed. I was going to shower in the morning. As it turns out I won’t get to shower again until December.


The next morning I woke up at 5:30 am and am really numb. It is terribly bad, I can barely stand from kneeling without the ladder, and I had the top bunk bed. I didn’t pack the night before and I put all my liquids in my main suitcase and started throwing away clothes that I didn’t want to get at the weight. After three attempts I make it to the exact most I can check in. (Wine bottles are heavy.) I grab my side bag and suitcase and am off. It is only a few blocks to the train station but it is a slight uphill slope and my legs can barely make it. Rome at night is also a very scary place in those parts.

I am starving and I pick up a few things at the convenience store style place in Termini and go to the kiosk to get my train ticket to the airport. I decide on the Leonardo Express train over the local train as I don’t know how much effort I have left. The train arrives and I get on barely enough grip to lift my excessive bag.

I then arrive at the Leonardo da Vinci airport and walk a long hall to the Lufthansa check-in for my first flight to Munich. She checks everything for me takes the bag and then I proceed through security. This is a really simple process as I have gotten good at this. I then find my gate and have a seat. Once it comes birding time I have great difficulty standing. I do manage and get on the flight. Scared to death, I start to be even more scared thinking about my mother’s prediction something bad was going to happen.

When the plane arrived, I went to the other terminal to get my flight that involved lots of halls, trains, elevators and, escalators. After getting my Schengen leaving stamp, I go to the gate and wait for boarding. Then boarding gets announced and I cannot stand up. I am really scared and freaking out just like a bathroom in Amsterdam incident. After everyone mostly boards I manage to use my everything to stand and it is not at all good. I get on the plane and have a seat in the second row of economy class. As it happens to turn out the group of people around me work for Air Canada and used their travel perks to go to Oktoberfest (lucky them). The gentleman to my left was leaving the airline to change careers. My hands were not working well to at all at this point so I couldn’t put my seatbelt on and he helped me. I din. Want to keep asking for help so I didn’t get to watch a movie at all for the flight and got to watch as we flew back the map of where we were. Our flight was delayed due to a technical fault, this made me nervous that this was it, the technical fault was how this was going to all end. After they fixed the plane, it took almost another hour to get a new route, and the route took us north until we followed the UK coast then towards Greenland and then direct to Toronto.

As the meal came I could not eat hardly anything and drank the water and wine and bean salad. (Again the bean salad is always a mistake.) I had the guy next to me open the items I did eat. He could tell something was not right and we talked briefly. He was friends with the crew and I think he told them as I was embarrassed to ask for help. I have a bad anxiety for things like that.

Since I had 8 hours to Toronto left I decided sleeping it off was the best decision. I , however, started around Greenland noticing if I slept I stopped breathing and this scared the hell out of me but not as bad as telling someone and divert the plane in 2 hours to Newfoundland as we were literally in the middle of nowhere and piss off everyone on the flight. I instead waited it out silently as it got worse and worse. I needed to use the bathroom and got up and waited in line to make it just in time. I then returned to my seat. This is the last time I would get up or use the bathroom on my own.

We then land in Toronto. My phone still had my UK SIM card and I physically don’t have a tool to open the SIM card door so I turn it on but can’t use it. If I could I could text everyone or post on Twitter that I arrived. As the doors open, I try to get up and can’t with my own power to the guy next to me helps me up and grabs my bag for me.

I take about 60 steps to get off the plane and the first step is a big one so I roll my ankle and can’t get up and am blocking the door. I am in fear at this point more from blocking everyone behind me, and only have 25 minutes to get through customs and my flight to Saint John. The flight attendant guy was right behind me and I was rolled to the side and covered with a blanket until the rest of the passengers deplaned. Then he took off and the flight crew and airport manager took care of everything asking me lots of questions. The ambulance arrived and I was forced to help due to my weight to get up to a wheelchair and then transfer to the stretcher.

I asked about my checked bag and the Air Canada manager assured me they would take care of everything. I was taken down the sky ramp steps and placed in the ambulance and off we went.

Next post I will continue with the hospital portion of this story. This concludes the travel portion.

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Maybe I was Wrong

For the better part of my life I always considered nuclear power to be incredibly clean and efficient way to produce a lot of power. With the recent earthquake to hit Japan and Fukushima, perhaps it is now time to consider something else.

The question is what else? The thought of going back to burning coal, oil, or even worse Orimulsion. Then there is wind power that kills birds, bats, honey bees, and causes hearing damage. Hydro-electric power that kills the eco-system of a river upstream, even if provisions were made not to. Solar? The sun will come out tomorrow but not today and are very inefficient to have reliable energy in short winter days.

I think the most important factor is that although we believe it can be safe, what if nature makes it go wrong. Canadian reactors are supposed to be certified for expected levels of seismic activity. But expected and reality can be different. Like the old expression “Shit Happens”.

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The Times They Are A Changin’

A few year’s back I got reconnected to a classic piece of music; Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are A Changin'”. Back then was in March 2005. I was a young political supporter taking by first trip by train to Montréal, for the 1st Conservative Party of Canada policy and constitution convention.

Back then I thought we were doing something new a great. The vision of make a new party from scratch. Also, strengthening up the constitution to make it more fair and accountable.

Fast forward to now six years later, and we are back to the corruption as before but the song is developing new meaning. With recent events that started in Egypt and Tunisia we are seeing once more that The Times They Are A Changin’. In hindsight, it appears that change actually happen quite rapidly.

Now that it spreads fast people can compare this turning point in history to the storming Bastille. Where people’s choice takes forefront to prolonged oppression. But of greater concern is that at this point in History the current super-power the United States turns out to be broke, and not exactly globally well liked. Compare them to the Hapsburg Dynasty of Austria that controlled much of Europe at the time of the Bastille.

The French king at that time was completely unaware of the state of his people like leaders today in Egypt, Bahrain, and Libya. One only has to visit Luzern in Switzerland to see the most moving pieces of artwork in all Europe to see this was true. The only protection of a ruler be it King, Sultan, President; is who the Armed Forces supports, in France and now Egypt to military supported to people.

As history goes the Bastille event results in Napoleon, where the Hapsburgs end up dead and everything changes. In the 2010’s can the United States survive or will we see that nothing is safe as The Times They Are A Changin’.

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Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi was born on October 2nd, 1869, in the Kathiawar Peninsula. He was born into the second lowest Hindu caste, the Vaisya. Gandhi’s father and grandfather had prime ministers of their principalities, which made their family although lower in class very prominent and well-respected. He was expected to follow his family tradition of public service; so, he went to London, UK, in 1888 to study law.

When arrived back in India he failed as a barrister in both Bombay and Rajkot.  Gandhi was an extremely shy person. He later gained work as a legal advisor for the ruling prince of Pomander. He decided that public service was not for him and received a job to look after the legal affairs of the Dada Abdulla & Co. in South Africa.

He stayed in South Africa from 1893 until 1914. While in South Africa Gandhi he had faced much embarrassment. One of these times was while he was on a train to Durban he was asked to leave his seat in first class and move to the baggage compartment, he did not comply and instead left the train. Gandhi was opposed to this treatment and got the South African Indians together to offer more resistance. Gandhi was the founder of modern Satyagraha, which he put together with trial and error and his Hindu teachings. Gandhi was upset over various issues such as registration, prohibition of moving to other provinces, unfair taxes, and recognition of only Christian marriages.

In 1908, Gandhi got together over two thousand Indians living in South Africa to march to Johannesburg and burn their registration papers. He again in 1913 led a group of several thousand Indians to move into another province. These protests led to the Indian Relief Act of July 1914.

In January 1915, Gandhi decided to return to India and apply his methods in British India. Gandhi did not want to simply oust the British but keep up the sense of justice enforced by the British, by the means of peaceful liberation from England. Gandhi was a conditional nationalist that believed in independence but only under certain conditions. He was at times not well liked because he, for instance, recruited Indian Soldiers for the British during the Great War. Gandhi believed that non-violence is preferred to violence only to prove the moral strength and inner conviction not as a sign of moral weakness. He had done the recruiting because he felt his fellow citizens agreed with him because they were morally weak, and he felt that surrender was worst than the violence.

Gandhi had set up religious retreats throughout India to help prepare his followers for their major task, the transition to non-violence. One of these in Sabarmati, called Satyagraha Ashram, was Mahatma Gandhi’s home for over sixteen years. During those years, he gained the support of the locals, leaders, and many others by campaigning for education, sanitation, and injustices. This led to a public outcall for independence.

Gandhi in 1929 called Lord Irwin for the independence of India within one year. Gandhi then decided to speed up emancipation by opposing the Salt Act. It had led to the largest display of non-violence demonstrations known to date. This was followed by massive displays of civil disobedience and non-cooperation. The most notable was a march of over 200 miles from Ahmedabad to Dandi in May 1930, to try to take over the government salt depot at Dharasana. Gandhi was arrested before this incident.

From 1934 until 1939 Gandhi, spend most of his time supporting issues such as basic education, language reform, and natural remedies. In 1939, Gandhi requested that Britain to leave India out of their war in Europe and allow India to protect themselves against the oncoming of the Japanese from the east. He felt that this would not affect the outcome of the war in Europe, and he threatened them with more civil disobedience. Britain’s response was to have him and other leaders arrested. This led to massive violent riots throughout India. He was finally released in May of 1944, three months after his wife’s death.

In his efforts, he tried uniting the Moslems and the Hindu people to help gain independence. On August 15, 1947, India finally gained independence although it was divided into two countries India and Pakistan.

He then spent the rest of his life travelling, trying to unite the Moslem and Hindu peoples, and spread the word on Satyagraha. This had caused people to conspire to kill Gandhi. Finally, on January 30, 1948, Mahatma Gandhi was assassinated at age 78, on his way to prayers.

During his times he referred to himself as a soldier of peace as in this famous speech he gave, “I regard myself as a soldier, though a soldier of peace. I know the value of discipline and truth. I must ask you to believe me when I say, that I have never made a statement of this description. That the merit of India, if it became necessary, would resort to violence.” During the same time the most brilliant man in the worlds modern history, Albert Einstein supported Gandhi’s views by saying, “I believe, that Gandhi’s views were the most enlightened of all the political mind of our time. We should strive to do things in his spirit, not to use violence in fighting for all cause. But by non-participation in anything, you believe is evil.”